deductivereasonable:

h34rken:

put a fucking bag on your head and sleep you god damn piece of shit

take a nap on a fucking ski lift
  • Me: I'm having a virgin Mai Tai
  • Friend: isn't that just pineapple and orange juice
  • Me:
  • Me: *sips drink*
  • Me:
  • Me: I came out tonight to have a fun time and I honestly am feeling so attacked right now
  • westcoastwaterbender:

radicalmuscle:

onlylolgifs:

The floor is lava!

What kind of parents actually pour lava into their homes just so their kid can have some fun?

The fun kind.
  • 16 year old child: mom, dad: I'm gay/lesbian/bi/pan
  • Straight parents: you're too young to know what your sexuality is! It's just a phase.
  • Baby boy: *stares at a baby girl for no reason other than the fact that babies stare at everything*
  • Straight parents: oooh! Ladies man! We're gonna have to keep the girls offa you!
  • 290
    veganvibez:

"friend. i hug you""uh. what the fuck is this guy doin."
    213

    pemsylvania:

    one time i got a fish and my dad made me name it james pond